|  TheSixthSon | Dec 29, 2006 11:46am | Conspiracy theory: T.O. is really OJ in disguise, bent on destroying the NFL for turning their back on him. Have you ever seen the two of them together?... hhhmm.
Wouldn't it be nice if Dallas wins the NFC East only to be knocked out in the 1st round by that GreenBayGiants NFL parity mutant?
Of course the greatest possible Super Bowl scenario would be Saints vs Chargers. Which by a bizarre rift in the space/time continuum would be played at Giants stadium, where the main topic all week would be the Manning Super Bowl curse (Dad couldn't even dream about it with the Saints, Peyton can't get the Colts past the semies, and Eli's misguided snub catapulted each team to the promised land) There's just so many angles there.
The game itself would be a classic, going into triple overtime. But as far as which team should win this karmic championship it's a tough call... so I offer for your amusement... my tale of the tape:
QB
Chargers: The prince valiant all American with Tom Brady-esk movie star looks could be the darling of Madison Ave.
Saints: The comeback kid with that Flutie-esk appeal and magic that makes every average Joe root for him.
Advantage: Saints
RB
Chargers: Superman, Batman and Spidey all rolled into one. Impervious to everything except hungry babies.
Saints: Captain America, Robin and Green Lantern rolled into one. Impervious to most things except big NFL linemen.
Advantage: Chargers
DEFENSE
Chargers: Lead by a juiced up version of the "other?" LT, who can only be stopped by a 45 magnum... or a urine sample.
Saints: "Hello my is" name tags handed out before press conferences
Advantage: Chargers
SPECIAL TEAMS
Chargers: Is that Opie kicking FGs and Gomer Pyle punting?
Saints: Reg-gie, Reg-gie, Reg-gie chants heard in NY again, and the candy bar is re-branded.
Advantage: Saints
COACH
Chargers: Marty Bawl replaces Marty Ball, and admit it... you love watching a grown man cry.
Saints: The young apprentice has his crowning moment in his old stomping growns.
Advantage: Chargers
FANTASY FINISH
Chargers: An obviously juiced up Shawn Merriman jumps 12ft in the air to block a FG with 30 sec left, recovers it and runs down to the 1 yd line where he's caught from behind by Reggie Bush. With 1 sec left the chargers line up in power I mormation, then surprise everyone by switching into FG formation with Rivers holding and LT kicking the game winning FG.
Saints: 10 sec left ball on NO 25. Brees scrambles back 15 yds avoiding a potential sack by Castillo, throws a lateral to Reggie Bush who's blasted out of his shoes back to the half yd line by Merriman, but amazingly his knees never touch the ground and he uses a dazzling array of jukes to get back to the original line of scrimage where he laterals back to Brees who launches a 75 yd bomb to Joe Horn who makes a one handed catch while calling the announcers booth on his cell phone.
Advantage: Saints... you can't beat a "Hollywood" ending.
RESULT: Can't we bend the rules just once and have a tie?!
Inspired by my favorite NFL pundit Nick Bakay. |
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